Perry Turns Back the Clock With Starks
By Perry | Leave a Comment
The New York Knicks haven’t had a winning season since going 48-34 in the 2000-01 season. According to Forbes.com the Knickerbocker organization is the most valuable in the NBA at over $600 million. However, in a fan’s perspective they are pathetic. There hasn’t been anything to root for since Isiah Thomas and […]
Pacman’s agent says deal with Cowboys is done
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Manny Arora, Pacman Jones’ agent/enabler, says that a deal with the Cowboys is in place, but that the Titans are testing the market.
“The contract is in place,” Arora said Monday. “They are not unintelligent people. They know what they are doing.
“They (Titans) have already made it publicly known that he needs to find […]
Phillies start 2008 with a bang
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
In perhaps a sign of the great things to come for the Phillies this season, their bullpen got bombed. And when we say the bullpen, we mean Tom Gordon. Gordon gave up five runs in a 1/3 of an inning during a tie game. Yep, that’s right. Five runs in a fraction […]
Browns and Raiders exchange emails on Washington
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
According to the website for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Browns and Raiders have exchanged emails regarding cornerback Fabian Washington, although a deal doesn’t appear to be imminent.
The report says that the Raiders claim to have a deal on the table that would land them a second-round pick. The Browns don’t have any pick […]
Goodell doesn’t think Pacman is sorry
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
The Cowboys can trade for Pacman all they like, that doesn’t mean he’ll be able to play for them. Roger Goodell is quoted on Jaguars.com as saying that he doesn’t think Pacman has taken responsibility for his actions.
“He has to accept responsibility for his actions and, when he does, I will consider him for […]
College Basketball: AP All-American Team Announced
By Perry | 3 Comments
The Associated Press announced their All-American teams today. Three of the five players on the first team are still playing in the tournament, UNC’s Tyler Hansbrough, Memphis’ Chris Douglas-Roberts, and UCLA’s Kevin Love. Also making the first team were Kansas State’s Michael Beasley and Texas’ D.J. Augustin. Coincidentally, this is the first […]
NFL Football: Kickoff Weekend’s Primetime Games Announced
By Perry | Leave a Comment
In addition to the Giants vs. Redskins game that was announced last week three more games have gone public.
The Sunday Night game: Chicago Bears vs. Indianapolis Colts, 8:15 EST
The Monday Night game: Minnesota Vikings vs. Green Bay Packers, 7:00 EST
The Other Monday Night game: Denver Broncos vs Oakland Raiders, 10:15 EST
If you […]
Kenyatta Jones: A class act
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
After throwing hot water onto a roommate while said roommate is on the toilet, what do you do for an encore? It’s a rhetorical question, obviously you piss on a dance floor. Kenyatta Jones was arrested this morning after trying to urinate on a popular Tampa nightclub floor (the nightclub is popular, we […]
Perry Dollars: Place Your Bets
By Perry | 3 Comments
In light of Opening Day for the MLB season, I give everyone 200 Perry Dollars for today’s games. Check the odds here. Place bets on the money line and/or the over/under. We will be using the “closing line.” O/U pays 2 to 1 and there’s no juice on losing bets. […]
NFL Football: Clifton Brown says, “Trade Chad Johnson.”
By Perry | Leave a Comment
SportingNews’ Clifton Brown suggests that the Cincinnati Bengals should trade Chad Johnson ASAP. OTR believes that Clifton is correct. OTR also likes the name Clifton.
He is correct in saying that Chad Johnson’s trade value can’t get much higher. Since 2002, Chad Johnson has had over 1,100 yards in each season. […]
NBA Basketball: Western Conference Playoff Push
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Headed into the weekend, Dallas, Denver and Golden State were neck and neck and now it can’t be any closer. All three teams have the same record. Denver has won five straight games, including a win over Golden State on Saturday. The Warriors were able to rebound from that loss with a […]
NCAA Tournament: The Final Four
By Perry | Leave a Comment
For the first time in NCAA Tournament history, all four number one seeds advanced to the final four. While most our commending the selection committee for their brilliant seeding this year, OTR views the glass as half empty. This is the only time since 1985 (first year with 64 teams) that the selection […]
Perry Dollars: Kids Get Paid Out
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Current Standings (with more to come with overall winner):
Neetz: $45
Neetz had UCLA (4/5) winning their region.
215sports: $112.73
215sports had Kansas (10/11), UNC (4/5), and UCLA (4/5) winning their region.
Fooks: $112.73
Fooks had Kansas (10/11), UNC (4/5), and UCLA (4/5) winning their region.
Jerry Porter is glad to be headed to Jacksonville
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Former Raiders wide receiver Joey Porter is one happy dude. He tells the San Francisco Chronicle that life as a Raider was essentially hell, and who could blame him? He was well known as a malcontent in Oakland and hopes to start over as a Jaguar.
“I’ve been trying to start fresh for a […]
Make your own photo caption of the day
By Micah Warren | 3 Comments
Photo Caption: The guy who played Cameron in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was last seen trying to rape Nancy Kerrigan with a broom.
G. Cobb’s mock draft
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
G. Cobb has posted a mock draft on GCobb.com, check it out.
K-Rod to get rich at some point
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
How is that for a headline? Francisco Rodriquez’s agent doesn’t want to negotiate a new deal during the season because it causes problems for the player.
“Right now, we’ll wait it out until the season is over,” said Paul Kinzer, Rodriguez’s agent. “Normally, I don’t like to do that (negotiate during the season). It’s tough […]
Sam Cassell wants to coach
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Sam Cassell may be done after this season, but not really. He and Boston Celtics’ head coach Doc Rivers seem to have a mutual interest in Cassell joining his coaching staff apres the 2008 season.
“Basketball is my passion,” Cassell said. “With me, you like to get paid for what you do, but this is […]
Osi a no-show at training camp?
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
A source told Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News that Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora won’t be at training camp in July if he doesn’t get a new deal.
Said the source: “I guarantee you he’s not coming to camp.”
While we understand the need to get paid, we also understand that Umenyiora just […]
Former Buc busted with crack pipe
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Keith McCants, the former #4 overall draft pick in the 1990 NFL Draft was busted Saturday night in a parking lot with a screwdriver, pliers and a crack pipe. Let’s play a game called, “What in the Hell was Going On?”
Apparently, he was in an empty business parking lot with two women who were […]
Pacman thinks he’s worth a first-round pick
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
**Pauses for laughter** Pacman Jones said at a charity basketball game Saturday night that he thinks that he is worthy of a first-round pick in trade. Apparently, Jones hasn’t been read a newspaper lately (and judging by his grammar he can’t). When pressed on his trade value, he replied:
“I would say a […]
Davidson has cured OTR of the flu!
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Ok, maybe not. But a special thanks to one Michael Q. Perry (we don’t know if that’s his middle initial) for keep’n it goin’ while Micah Warren was down with a combo of the flu and a cold. He will be awarded OTR’s highest praise: The Medal of KIG (Keep’n It Goin’).
In […]
Ron Burgandy Helps OTR Evaluate Talent
By Perry | Leave a Comment
On November 27, 2006, the Philadelphia Phillies signed Adam Eaton to a 3-year deal worth $24 million. In 2007, Eaton went 10-10 with a 6.29 ERA. Yesterday, Eaton pitched 4 2/3 innings and gave up 11 hits and seven earned runs in an attempt to make the final spot on the Phillies rotation. […]
NBA Basketball: Western Conference Playoff Push
By Perry | Leave a Comment
There is a battle going on to see who will be the odd team out in the Western Conference. Last night featured all three teams, Dallas, Denver, and Golden State with two of them playing against each other.
Denver, led by Carmello Anthony who was two assists shy of a triple double, pulled within one […]
NFL Football: Coles Will Remain A Jet
By Perry | Leave a Comment
New York Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles will get his final two years guaranteed ($11 million) by his employer, according to a league source.
Coles has 561 career receptions for over 7,000 yards and 37 touchdowns and is a very valuable asset to the New York Jets offense. OTR believes Coles is too fast for […]
NCAA Basketball: UNC, Louisville, Xavier, and UCLA Advance
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Four teams advanced to the Elite 8 (Great 8?) last night in the NCAA Tournament. The first two games of the evening featured Xavier vs. West Virginia and North Carolina vs. Washington State. Let’s take a look at what went down:
(7) West Virginia vs. (3) Xavier:
Xavier jumped out to an early 8-0 lead […]
NFL Football: Proposal To Ban Long Hair?
By Perry | Leave a Comment
The Kansas City Chiefs are proposing a rule that will ban long hair in the NFL. This proposal and many others will be addressed at the owners meetings next week. But this pretty dumb proposal, if accepted, would make NFL players cut their hair so it doesn’t cover their name on the back […]
College Football: Tennessee vs. Ohio State?
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Tennessee and Ohio State have only faced one time before and that was at the 1996 Florida Citrus Bowl. The Volunteers beat the Buckeyes 20-14 that beautiful winter day. It went so well that the two schools have agreed to meet two more times. In the year 2018, (yes, 10 years from […]
Baseball: Andy Pettitte To Pitch
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Speaking of steroids, Pettitte is scheduled to pitch a minor leauge game on Sunday. Considering Pettitte is a major league pitcher, OTR views this as a bad situation. Pettitte was quoted saying, “I woke up this morning and I can definitely say it felt as good today as it did yesterday, and maybe […]
Baseball: Enough With The Steroids…
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Canseco’s recent allegations that he introduced Alex Rodriguez to a steroids dealer are annoying. OTR does not care anymore about steroids. It’s done. It’s over. We know baseball players used to take steroids (I’m sure some still do), but we couldn’t care less. Jose Canseco is a jackass and a […]
NHL Hockey: Playoff Schedule & Star Cams
By Perry | 2 Comments
NBC announced their playoff broadcast schedule if anyone cares. More importantly NBC reports: “NBCSports.com will offer a Rangers “Star-cam” and Penguins “Star-cam” that will allow visitors to view a camera isolated on a specific player on each shift. When New York’s Sean Avery is on the ice, the Rangers-cam will follow him, while the […]
NBA Basketball: Shaq, Just Shut Up.
By Perry | 2 Comments
Shaq ripping on former teams and former players needs to stop. He did it when he left the Orlando Magic. He did it when he left the Los Angeles Lakers. And now he is doing it to his most recent former team, the Miami Heat. If anything ever goes wrong, it’s […]
NBA Basketball: Celtics Topple Suns, KG 4 MVP?
By Perry | Leave a Comment
The Phoenix Suns lost to the Celtics last night 117-97, losing their second in a row and falling to the sixth spot in the Western Conference (2.5 games back). All five of Boston’s starters scored in double digits with Kevin Garnett leading the way with 30 points on 12-19 shooting. The Celtics just […]
NBA Basketball: Webber Calls His Final Timeout
By Perry | Leave a Comment
Chris Webber finally called it quits yesterday and retired from the game of basketball. I didn’t feel like writing a detailed article about Webber, so J.A. Adande did it for me over at ESPN. I have a feeling that most fans will remember Webber for his timeout against UNC in the National Championship […]
NBA Basketball: Kobe Gets Technical(s)?
By Perry | Leave a Comment
The Charlotte Bobcats travelled to L.A. last night to play the Lakers and they won 108-95. To make things worse for the Lakers, Kobe Bryant was assessed two technical fouls making his season total 15. What does this mean? If Kobe gets one more he will have to serve an automatic one-game […]
NFL Schedule: Coming Soon…
By Perry | Leave a Comment
The NFL schedule should be coming out early next week, so stay tuned. However, the Thursday night season opener has been announced, unofficially. The Washington Redskins will play the New York Giants on September 4th at Giants Stadium. The game might be starting at 7:00pm instead of 8:30pm because of some Republican […]
OTR has the flu
By Micah Warren | 2 Comments
Sorry for the lack of updates today, guys. OTR editor has flu. I’ll do my best.
Eagles ink Wilson
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
According to Adam Shefter of NFL Network, The Eagles have signed former Kansas City chief fullback/tight end/h-back/whatever Kris Wilson. He’ll most likely play fullback. We are reminded of the sledding scene from “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” when cousin Eddie asks Clark not to put any of the new space edge polymer on his […]
Philadelphia Eagles News: Kris Wilson?
By Perry | 1 Comment
PFT is reporting that tightend/fullback Kris Wilson is visiting the Eagles today and could be signed, based on assumption, pretty soon. Wilson played for the Chiefs last year, carried the ball three times, and fumbled the ball twice. He also caught 24 passes, one of them for a touchdown. Kris was born […]
NCAA Tournament: Perry Breaks Down the South & West…Again!
By Perry | 1 Comment
Click here to check out my thoughts on the East & Midwest regions.
South Region (Houston, TX)
Summary of the first two rounds:
The South region, similar to the East region, only had one game where the higher seed advanced past the lower seed (higher meaning higher number) when (5) Michigan State defeated (4) Pittsburgh 65-54 in the […]
ProFootballTalk: Pacman party canceled
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
A friend of PFT’s called the number on the invitation and was told that the Grey Goose party (the one with Young Spoaty…yeah that one) has been canceled. Trop mal (that’s French for “too bad.” OTR is international) for Pacman.
But at OTR, we know to look deeper into these things. You know what […]
Goodell can’t understand Pacman Jones
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is really struggling to understand Pacman Jones…and so are we. OTR just heard the radio broadcast from today and if I’m the president of West Virginia University, I spent two hours with my head in my hands, cried for a spell and then reached for a glass of bourbon. Sweet jesus […]
A-Rod on the juice too?
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Apparently, Joe Lavin of JoeLavin.com (?) got a hold of Jose Canseco’s next book. Here is what Lavin had to say:
“As for Alex Rodriguez, Canseco says he didn’t inject Rodriguez, but that he “introduced Alex to a known supplier of steroids.” Canseco didn’t mention Rodriguez in the first book because he “hated the bastard.” He […]
Patrick Roy: Father of the Year
By Micah Warren | 1 Comment
This is Patrick Roy’s kid Jonathan. This is junior hockey. This other goalie clearly wants no parts of this fight. Roy then flips off the crowd. We don’t know what else to say.
Pacman Jones: Stupid personified
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Thanks to our friends at Deadspin.com (they have no idea who we are) for getting a hold of this invitation for a Grey Goose party on March 30th. Pacman is a host. Wow.
OTR would love to go because we are huge fans of Young Spoaty. Young Spoaty?? Who in the hell […]
Haynesworth on the dating waiver wire
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
According to the Tennessean, Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is getting dropped by his wife. She cites inappropriate marital conduct and irreconcilable differences.
Albert is such a douche on the field that it’s not difficult to imagine that he is a douche in his own home.
Baseball: Red Sox Win Opener?
By Perry | Leave a Comment
OTR really doesn’t like baseball that much, but we understand that our readers might enjoy this boring as all hell sport, so we’ll report about it. We think that the Red Sox won the opener. We weren’t aware the season started, because we don’t care, but ESPN reported that Manny Ramirez played well […]
Pacman Jones talks
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Titans cornerback and colossal butt wipe Pacman Jones stopped by Michael Irvin’s radio show in Dallas on ESPN’s 103.3 FM. Our friend Tim McMahon (he has no idea who we are, but we’ll call him our friend. If his car broke down at 2am, he could totally call us) has all of the updates […]
Any girls in Chicago want to date this guy?
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
The brother of OTR’s founder sent us this site. WOW. We don’t know what to say. This guy got dumped by this broad and now he made a Cubs website to help him get over it. www.canthecubsmendmyheart.com.
We aren’t sure what to think. On one hand, we all know what it’s […]
Michael Vick’s new trial date set
By Micah Warren | Leave a Comment
Michael Vick’s state trial on dogfighting charges has been rescheduled for June 27th.
Vick has been charged with two state felony counts, which are beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and engaging in or promoting dogfighting. Each felony is punishable by up to five years in prison.
Vick is currently in Leavenworth serving […]

