January 7, 2009
Saints RB Reggie Bush had microfracture surgery on his left knee after he was placed on injured reserve in December. That’s a pretty big deal, especially considering what we were led to believe initially. That’s now three surgeries on his left knee in two years. For a guy that relies on speed and cutting ability? That’s not so good.
“I wouldn’t want to call it minor, because he’s got a pretty significant period of rehab time, ” Saints GM Mickey Loomis said. “But at the end of it, he shouldn’t have any issues.”
Uh huh.
Loomis fully expects him to be ready for June workouts, but that’s not a certainty. The problem with microfracture surgery as OTR views it (and is there a better way to view it?), is that that type of surgery is designed to promote cartilage growth. And if there isn’t enough cartilage, then isn’t Bush facing a bone-on-bone situation now or at some point?
Side note: Bush is facing bone-on-bone. There is a joke somewhere in there, but we have neither the time nor the inclination to find it.
Regardless, this is a story that should be monitored. Bush’s knee can only take so much before he loses his explosiveness. Which, combined with his lack of running instincts, would kill his career.
January 7, 2009
Adam Schefter of NFL Network reports that the Lions interviewed Cowboys offensive coordinator Jason Garrett on Monday for their head coaching vacancy.
The Lions’ list of candidates also includes Titans defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz, Dolphins assistant head coach Todd Bowles and Redskins secondary coach Jerry Gray.
At this point, OTR could improve that crap-ass team. In fact, it was confirmed late last night that Perry was actually interviewed for the gig, although he isn’t considered a serious candidate. OTR obtained excerpts from the interview.
William Clay Ford, Sr.: “So, Michael tell me, how can you improve the Lions?”
Perry: “Well, Christ Bill - can I call you Bill? - I think I can win a f***ing game for f***’s sake. I can swear, right? We’re amongst friends, aren’t we? Right? Right, Bill?” Bill stop f***ing with me and be serious for a f***ing second. Can you do that, Bill? Sweet. And call me Perry for the love of Christ, the only person that calls me Michael is my parole officer. You’re creeping me out, Bill. Seriously, dude. So, like I said, I know I can get these sh**bags to win a f***ing game. What else do you want to know really? I told you I went to Penn St., right?”
****Perry looks down at ringing cell phone****
Perry: “Sh*t, Bill, I gotta take that, gimme a minute…..Perry here, go…”
That was the only portion that OTR was able to obtain and it’s not known how the Lions thought the interview went, although Perry seemed to think it went rather smoothly. We caught up with him shortly after the meeting with the Fords.
“What do you mean how did it go?”, Perry told OTR via text message. “I f***ing aced it. Why would you even have to ask?”
Stay tuned for the latest updates. We’ll be posting them as they happen or when we feel like it.
January 6, 2009
As reported by 10News.com, Chargers WR Vincent Jackson was arrested on Tuesday morning for suspicion of DUI. He was stopped around 2 AM and failed two sobriety tests. Oh, and Jackson is already on probation for taking a hit from the old bottle of quarterback talent and getting behind the wheel.
“Obviously we’re disappointed,” Chargers GM AJ Smith said. “We take these issues very seriously. Moving forward, we will monitor the situation and have no further comment.”
UPDATE: Vincent Jackson says that he didn’t do it and we believe everything he says so he must be telling the truth.
“This morning I was stopped by an officer,” Jackson said in a statement released by the team. “I don’t think any charges will be filed as a result of the stop. In the event they are, I look forward to clearing my name and proving my innocence.”
January 6, 2009
Denver Nuggets woman look-a-like Carmelo Anthony will be out 3-4 weeks with a broken bone in his right hand. The one he likes to shoot with so damn much.
January 5, 2009
Phillies left-handed setup man J.C. Romero will be suspended 50 games in 2009 for taking an over-the-counter supplement that contained a banned substance. An arbitrator ruled that he was “negligent” in not knowing what was in the supplement. However, MLB and Romero agree that he did not take any performance-enhancing drugs.
“One thing I’m going to say, I’m a man and I’m accountable for my actions,” the Phillies reliever said in an attempt to tell his side to the media before MLB makes an announcement on Tuesday. “If I’m guilty of something, you know what? I will face it. But I’m not guilty, and I’m not letting people that don’t really know me judge me over something and accuse me of something that I didn’t do.”
Romero was a brilliant setup man for the Phils and very important to their championship run. He stands to lose $1.25 million in the suspension.
“If people are intimidated because Major League [Baseball] is a big organization, so be it,” Romero said. “But they are not going to make an example of me thinking that I’m just a [dumb] Puerto Rican. It’s not going to happen. It’s not the way I’m built.
“For me to keep my mouth shut? That’s not the right thing to do. If they want to bump me out of the game, so be it. What am I going to do, just sit back and take it? When I know in my heart I’m innocent? That doesn’t fly well with me and it doesn’t fly well in my house, either.”
Hopefully, Phillies fans enjoyed their World Series victory, because they will have to start their run to repeat without three valuable pieces to the puzzle. Chase Utley will be out several months following hip surgery, and Pat Burrell signed with the Tampa Bay Rays.
January 5, 2009
Gus Frerotte thought he was the one that should have been out there playing against the Eagles on Sunday as opposed to the turd-taculor Tarvaris Jackson.
“I just don’t know what to think right now,” Frerotte said Sunday night. “It was a very frustrating experience, because I felt like I should’ve been the one playing. That might sound selfish, but I think I would’ve given us the best chance to win. I’m going home to St. Louis [on Monday] to be with my family and figure out where things stand, but the way things played out at the end really makes me question things.”
Photo Caption: Crap personified.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one.
One Viking told Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports that Jackson had a “deer-in-headlights” look all day. That can’t be good.
Another Viking told Silver that it felt “as though we were one play behind all day.”
Usually, when a player doesn’t want his name to be used, he’s not saying something positive.
With that said, another Viking told Silver that “our sideline was in total disarray.”
January 5, 2009
Fox 29 News in Philadelphia reports that Philadelphia District Attorney Lynne Abraham will hold a press conference on Tuesday at 11 A.M. and is expected to disclose the results of the investigation of an April North Philly shooting. The shooting occurred in the Brewerytown section of Philadelphia where one person was shot by someone else…with a gun owned by Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison.
Harrison is a Philly native and owns several businesses in the area, including the car wash where the gun was eventually recovered. We should know on Tuesday afternoon the extent to which Harrison was involved. If he was involved in the shooting as he was in the Colts offense this year, he should be cleared of all wrong doing.
January 5, 2009
Soooo….Mike Tice, what are you doing? He’s apparently wasted with a bunch of people singing an obnoxious rendition of “God Bless American.” I’m sure Woody Johnson will only hire him as the Jets new head coach if he promises to sing that opening day in front of the home crowd.
January 5, 2009
Seriously, when can we stop blowing Peyton Manning? Yes, the Colts won a Super Bowl in 2006. But he is just one-and-done way too much for my liking. You’d think by the way the media talks about him that he has five Super Bowls.
January 5, 2009
January 5, 2009
Former NBA legend Antoine Walker was arrested under suspicion of drinking and driving in Miami Beach.
Police say that Walker was driving his black Mercedes without his lights on early this morning. Police also say that he smelled of alcohol and looked sleepy, which is no different than his last year with the Minnesota Timberwolves.
PHOTO CAPTION: “Hmmmmmmmmmmm…cheeseburgers.”
Police say that he refused to take a Breathalyzer test.
Walker was being held on a $1,000 bond and did not immediately have an attorney.
January 5, 2009
The Tampa Bay Rays have signed former Phillie and current World Champion Pat Burrell to a two-year $16 million deal. The Rays needed to upgrade their DH and add power to the right side of the plate. Tampa also appeared to have a huge problem satisfying the women in the greater Tampa area. Burrell solves all those problems.
January 5, 2009
It doesn’t look like Ladainian Tomlinson will be able to play against Pittsburgh this weekend and he may be out for the entire playoffs with a bad groin injury.
“He might be able to play in another week if we were able to go on,” coach Norv Turner said. “Or maybe he could play in another week after that.”
Based on the way he was running on Saturday night compared to the way Darren Sproles was running….why would you even care?
January 4, 2009
From GCobb.com:
Andy Reid is now seven for seven in his first playoff game of a given season.
I’ve been awfully critical of Reid this year, but I do admit, he finds a way to get it done even if it’s maddening how he goes about it.
The Eagles just polished off the Vikings 26-14, but it was actually much closer than that. Let’s look at the game:
What I liked…
-McNabb was 23/34 for 300 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT. The INT wasn’t a huge deal as it was caught at the 10-yard line and the Vikings didn’t do anything with it. It was still a really stupid playcall on third-and-1, but whatever. Donovan missed a few but was pretty sharp the whole day. I love when he throws with touch, he’s great at it. Still want him gone?
-Say what you want about Andy, he got it done today.
-Jim Johnson’s second-half adjustments are a big reason the Eagles won this game. The D started to get a little soft towards the end of the first half and was giving up some rushing yards. But JJ fixed whatever the problem was and really put the clamps down on the Vikings in the second half.
-Asante, you were brought here to make plays just like that.
-How big was the 71-yard screen play for a TD? I give Westbrook a lot of credit for setting up his blocks, but I also give a lot of credit to the rest of the offense for blocking. Brilliant, brilliant job of blocking.
-David Akers is locked and loaded. The Eagles don’t win this game if he was kicking like he did earlier in the year. I thought that they would be forced to bring in competition next year, but that’s not the case. He’s kicking as well as anyone in football right now and that includes kickoffs.
-Part of me thinks that Reno Mahe would not have had the two big returns that DeSean had today. Just part of me though.
-Brent Celek is just solid. He doesn’t have the athletic upside of LJ Smith, but I’m sick of hearing about LJ’s athletic upside. Celek just does his job.
-More Buck, please.
-None of these WR’s is spectacular, but they all play an important role to form a complete group that you can win with. Kevin Curtis is quick and reliable. DeSean is the big-play threat. Jason Avant is money in the bank on third downs. Hank Baskett has excellent size, is a good blocker and has some big-play ability himself. Reggie Brown is better than people think, he’s just not a starter. Greg Lewis is isn’t bad either. I don’t want him anywhere near the starting lineup, but he’s made big catches for the Eagles in his years here.
-Sav Rocca was much better today, but I still want Lechler.
…and not so much:
-This game was close the whole time. Would have liked a knockout punch a little sooner.
-Matt Schobel doesn’t do it for me.
-Tarvaris Jackson made some throws early and maybe he’ll be a decent NFL QB at some point, but man was he awful for most of the game.
-Akeem Jordan should send a “thank you” note to Vikings center Matt Birk, whose bad snap gave the Eagles the ball back after Jordan roughed the passer on third and 10. The game was still in reach at that point and you just can’t take a stupid penalty like that after your defense had essentially gotten off the field.
-Despite the big TD reception, Westbrook doesn’t look right. He’s got to be pretty banged up. They better rest him all week.
-Sheldon, you are an excellent corner, but you have to catch a ball that hits you in the hands. This is how you allow a sub-standard team to remain in the game.
January 4, 2009
Peter King was interviewed at half-time during one of the NFL games yesterday and he updated us on the Favre situation, because there’s nothing else we would want to be informed on. Hopefully, we will all be updated on this update during both half-times of today’s games.
Favre said when he spoke to Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum on Monday, he told him “it may be time to look in a different direction” at the quarterback position, Peter King of SI.com reported.
Peter King also stated that he believed Brett Favre was leaning towards retirement, again.
Favre played like absolute filth down the final stretch of the season and cost his team a playoff birth. He played like an old, worn-down man making many mistakes; ultimately, costing Eric Mangini his coaching job.
PHOTO CAPTION: Residents at the Mississippi Home of the Elderly await Brett’s arrival.
In summary, Brett Favre’s choice to come out of retirement caused drama in Green Bay during training camp, Jets’ players being upset with the decision to get rid of Chad Pennington (who led Miami to the division title), Jets’ fans having their hearts ripped out at the end of the season, team dysfunction in the locker room, Eric Mangini to lose his job, and the Jets being handcuffed at the quarterback position for years to come.
Thanks Brett. Thanks for coming out of retirement. Can you please go home now? And stay there?
January 4, 2009
New Orleans Hornets big man Tyson Chandler was suspended one game for striking an opponent at Portland on Friday night. Chandler elbowed Trail Blazers center Joel Przybilla in the neck, Joel then struck Chandler in the chest, and then Chandler retaliated. Przybilla was fined $7,500 for the incident.
Here at OTR we like to update our readers with information like this so fantasy teams can be updated. So, make sure Tyson is out of your lineup for last night’s game in Denver which the Hornets lost 105-100.
Anyone notice how good the Denver Nuggets are without Allen Iverson on the team?
Anyone notice how stupid NBA players look when they try to fight? They never connect with their punches, they always wait for someone to come between them so they don’t have to fight, or they just look retarded, for example…
PHOTO CAPTION: Chandler uses the formatted three knuckle punch where the pinkie and thumb are fully extended. All while 245-pound Joel Przybilla is somehow being held back by a 75-pound dwarf referee.
Hey NBA players, leave the fighting for the real men of the NHL. They fight better on ice skates than your pansy asses do on Nike Lebron Zoom VI’s.
January 3, 2009
No, not THAT Perry, Corey Perry of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, the team with the dumbest name in sports history. Apparently, Perry thought it was appropriate to elbow the Flyers’ Claude Giroux and is now being told to stay home without pay for four games.
This is our lame attempt at adding hockey news.
January 3, 2009
We just got off the phone with HOOTRA (Head Office for Off The Record Awards) and it now seems that Micah has won his first OTR Brave Choice Award for his 2008 NFL prediction that the Giants would not make the playoffs. Predicting that the Super Bowl winner won’t even make the playoffs even though there really aren’t signs that they’ve gotten worse is a brave choice.
“A Brave what?”, Micah would have said if we were able to reach him or if he returned our messages.
Even still, congratulations to Micah and Perry for collecting more hardware than Bryant McKinnie before he leaves for a date.
January 3, 2009
Perry has won yet another blogger award. This time? It’s OTR’s Prediction of 2008 Brave Choice Award. In Perry’s preseason picks, he predicted that Jets OLB Vernon Gholston would win Defensive Rookie of the Year.
You are probably wondering why he would get an award for picking a guy to get that honor when he was not even dressing towards the end of the season. It’s simple, the award falls into the Brave Choice category, and you get the award for making a brave choice, not for being right.
“Another one?”, Perry asked when we told him the good news via cell phone while he was eating corn chips and possibly touching himself in his bed on a lazy Saturday afternoon. “Yeah…that’s uh….that’s great. Good stuff. Can I uh……can I call you back in a little bit? Just…finishing some things.”
Vernon Gholston is considered a bust by many, and OTR would like to congratulate Perry for picking him as a potential Defensive Rookie of the Year. A Brave Choice, indeed.
January 2, 2009
And here are Perry’s 2008 NFL predictions to look back on. I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but check the Eagles Wild Card prediction. Not bad, Mr. Perry.
National Football Conference
NFC East
*Dallas Cowboys 14-2
**Philadelphia Eagles 11-5
**New York Giants 10-6
Washington Redskins 9-7
NFC North
*Minnesota Vikings 9-7
Detroit Lions 8-8
Green Bay Packers 6-10
Chicago Bears 4-12
NFC South
*New Orleans Saints 13-3
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9-7
Carolina Panthers 7-9
Atlanta Falcons 2-14
NFC West
*Seattle Seahawks 10-6
Arizona Cardinals 8-8
St Louis Rams 4-12
San Francisco 49ers 2-14
American Football Conference
AFC East
*New England Patriots 14-2
**New York Jets 10-6
Buffalo Bills 8-8
Miami Dolphins 3-13
AFC North
*Pittsburgh Steelers 10-6
Cleveland Browns 7-9
Cincinnati Bengals 4-12
Baltimore Ravens 2-14
AFC South
*Jacksonville Jaguars 13-3
**Indianapolis Colts 13-3
Tennessee Titans 8-8
Houston Texans 4-12
AFC West
*San Diego Chargers 14-2
Denver Broncos 8-8
Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
Oakland Raiders 6-10
* Division Winner
** Wild Card
Wild Card Weekend
Seattle Seahawks over New York Giants
Philadelphia Eagles over Minnesota Vikings
Jacksonville Jaguars over New York Jets
Indianapolis Colts over Pittsburgh Steelers
Divisional Playoffs
Dallas Cowboys over Philadelphia Eagles
New Orleans Saints over Seattle Seahawks
San Diego Chargers over Indianapolis Colts
New England Patriots over Jacksonville Jaguars
Conference Championships
Dallas Cowboys over New Orleans Saints
San Diego Chargers over New England Patriots
Superbowl
San Diego Chargers over Dallas Cowboys
Awards
MVP: LaDainian Tomlinson
Offensive Player of the Year: LaDainian Tomlinson
Defensive Player of the Year: DeMarcus Ware
Offensive ROY: Darren McFadden
Defensive ROY: Vernon Gholston
January 2, 2009
Let’s take a look back on my 2008 predictions. Other writers rarely go back and show how stupid they are, but at OTR, we have no problem doing that. Here are my asinine predictions from early September.
Statistical predictions:
-Leading passer: It’s kind of tough to go against Tom Brady here, so I won’t.
-Leading rusher: I’m going to assume All Day will be healthy all year. Yes, Adrian Peterson will win the rushing crown for 2008. I’m not really going out on any limbs here, huh?
-Leading receiver (catches): I have to go with Wes Welker from the Pats. They just dump it off to him underneath too often for me to think otherwise.
-Leading receiver (yards): I want to pick Cleveland’s Braylon Edwards, but I worry about the Derek Anderson situation. Anderson has a concussion and I don’t know that he’ll be as good this year when teams are ready for him. I’m going to say that Megatron will lead the league this year. Detroit’s Calvin Johnson is poised for a nasty year and his back is finally healthy.
-Overall TD leader: I have to stick with All Day here. If A.P. doesn’t break down, he’s the guy.
-Leader in tackles: I don’t know how I can go against Patrick Willis from San Francisco. As a rookie he had 174 tackles last year. That is insane.
-Sack leader: I know it’s easy to go with last year’s sack leader in Jared Allen, but I’m going to anyway. His 15.5 sacks came in just 14 games in 2007 (suspended two games for DUI). He is now in Minnesota where he’ll have the luxury of playing next to the Williams brothers (they aren’t really brothers), aka the best D-tackle combo in the league. Assuming he stops guzzling the Early Times whiskey and hopping into the Escalade, he’ll play a full 16 games.
-INT leader: This is very tough to pick because it doesn’t go to the best DB. Many times a guy (or girl, let’s be fair) will benefit from playing on the other side of a super stud that no one wants to go near. I think the Eagles Sheldon Brown will grab the most picks. It’s dangerous to keep firing away at Asante Samuel.
Awards:
-MVP: Brian Westbrook. Not many mean as much to their teams as Westbrook means to the Eagles. He just keeps getting better and is perhaps the most dangerous weapon in all of football.
-Offensive Player of the Year: Calvin Johnson from the Lions. He looks like a man amongst boys.
-Defensive Player of the Year: San Fran’s Patrick Willis. This guy is a monster.
-Offensive Rookie of the Year: Titans RB Chris Johnson. He has been phenomenal and shouldn’t have any problem keeping fat Lendale White off the field.
-Defensive Rookie of the Year: Arizona Cardinals corner Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. He’s a Cromartie…’nuff said.
Other thoughts:
-The Patriots will not come close to achieving what they did last season. They will still be extremely tough, but their defense looks horrendous. It was bad last year, but it got masked by the fact that they were also winning by 70 points. It’s much easier to play D when you know the other team has to pass. The defense looks old, slow and tired.
-Favre will not get the Jets to the playoffs. I know it’s the big trade this offseason, but the Packers were good for more reasons last year than just Favre. I like the Jets o-line, but their defense is still suspect. They overpaid for Calvin Pace, Kris Jenkins is learning the nose in the 3-4 (if he’s even motivated to do that), they lost Jonathon Vilma, and Vernon Gholston stinks.
-The Browns will miss the playoffs again. Everyone is hyping the Browns after they added several players to their surprising 10-6 team. The Browns don’t have the element of surprise this year, and Derek Anderson looked awful to finish last season. If that’s the Anderson that they will get this year, then you’ll see Brady Quinn by Week 5.
-The Giants will miss the playoffs. Their run last year was excellent, but this team has too many issues to get back into the playoffs. Plaxico Burress is whining about his contract, Antonio Pierce would like an extension, Osi Umenyiora is done for the year, their secondary is still a question mark and they are expecting Eli Manning to be decent for an entire year. I don’t see it.
-The Bengals will be miserable. I know they aren’t great, but you would expect more given some of the talent on the roster. They will win four games.
January 2, 2009
Marc Stein of ESPN is reporting that New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury might be Boston bound if he becomes a free agent. The Knicks and Stephon Marbury still have to negotiate a buyout which could be difficult. Marbury is on the books for $345 billion this year. That’s an estimated $345 billion more than I make blogging for this site.
PHOTO CAPTION: Stephon Marbury is what we call over here at OTR, ‘Milk,’ a bad choice.
January 2, 2009
After sharing in the 2008 Blog of the Year award presented by OTR, Perry is raking in the hardware yet again, this time winning The First Post of 2009 award.
Perry was the first to make a post in the new year, thus making him eligible for the award.
“I don’t even know what to say right now, these last few days have just been such a whirlwind,” Perry said via AOL Instant Messenger. “Between the Blog of the Year award, the Fantasy Turd League…and now this. I think for the first time in my life I’m speechless. Usually I’m LOL’ing or LMAO’ing or something, but this is something different. I guess it’s just one of those things where you put the trophy up next to the others and keep moving forward. In a couple years, you come home from the newsroom and your day didn’t go well and you look up at that trophy and think, ‘well, there sure was that one day when I wasn’t too bad.’”
Photo Caption: “I’m putting my trophy right there!”
Perry declined to say how he was going to spend the prize money that comes with The First Post of 2009 award.
“Are you kidding,” he exclaimed. “I can’t even think about that right now. I’m just trying to digest all this. After I make all my phone calls I’ll worry about that. This isn’t about money. Never has been.”
January 2, 2009
Peyton Manning has won his third NFL MVP award, becoming just the second player (Brett Favre) in NFL history to do so.
“I know it’s an individual award, but … truly, in my opinion, a team award,” said Manning, who won the award mainly because no one else was having a truly dominant season.
“It’s been the most rewarding regular season that I’ve been a part of in my 11 years, and I have to believe a lot of the other players and even coaches might feel the same way,” Manning continued.
Manning got off to a slow start to the 2008 season after having two offseason surgeries on a bursa sac in his left knee. His Colts started 3-4, but he’s had them rolling ever since, winning nine straight.
Despite the sluggish start, he still extended his NFL record of 4,000-yard seasons to nine and finished with 27 touchdown passes, 12 interceptions and a 95.0 passer rating.
“It’s just been different,” Manning said. “It’s been an entirely different season. I think the one thing that’s been inaccurate is that the seasons we were starting out 13-0, 8-0, 7-0, that it was easy. So all of a sudden this year we are 3-4 and now things are hard. Believe me, it’s never easy to win a game. I’ve never taken for granted winning a football game.”
January 2, 2009
Let’s discuss this New York Jets debacle. What are your thoughts? Would the Jets have been better with Chad Pennington this year? Should Brett Favre have stayed retired? Were Thomas Jones’ comments out of line? Should Eric Mangini have been fired? Who was cooler, Zach Morris or A. C. Slater? Should Brett Favre now hang up his cleats? Who should the Jets hire as their next coach? OTR would like to hear your opinions. What are your thoughts?
PHOTO CAPTION: Seven of the most talented people ever to grace the TV screen.
To update you on the situation, Thomas Jones said these things to Hot 97 FM:
- “We’re a team and we win together … but at the same time, you can’t turn the ball over and expect to win.”
- “If somebody is not playing well, they need to come out of the game. You’re jeopardizing the whole team because you’re having a bad day. To me, that’s not fair to everybody else. You’re not the only one on the team. So when you get to the wire and somebody is just giving the game up, I mean, it’s just not [fair].”
Also, a veteran Jets player, quoted anonymously by Newsday, described Favre as a “distant” teammate who, when at the Jets’ practice facility, spent his down time away from teammates in an office specially designated for him.
“There was a lot of resentment in the room about him. He never socialized with us, never went to dinner with anyone,” the player told Newsday.
January 2, 2009
USC made easy work of Penn State yesterday in the Rose Bowl 38-24. You can point your finger at a couple stupid penalties and mistakes, but the bottom line is Penn State is a mediocre team when compared to a powerhouse football program like USC. USC should have played another team in the Rose Bowl, so it would have been at least some-what competitive. Maybe like Texas, Alabama, or some other Big 12 or SEC school.
PHOTO CAPTION: Joe Paterno seen here taking a dump while he “coaches” his team in the Rose Bowl.
The Big 10 is a minor league football conference in comparison to the Pac-10. USC deserved more than playing an out-classed Nittany Lion team that didn’t even have a coach. Penn State’s coach Joe Paterno sat in the press box all game and didn’t even step foot on the playing field or sidelines. He didn’t even go to the locker room at halftime to motivate his players. And this is a man who just signed a new three-year deal. Are you kidding me?
A time comes when somebody needs to step away from the game. The 82-year old Nittany Lion coach needs to go. If he can’t coach from the sidelines or join his team in the locker room at halftime, then what good is he? I did the same exact thing yesterday. Can I coach the Nittany Lions?
Furthermore, USC should be advancing in the playoffs right now. They are too good to just play a weak Penn State team in the Rose Bowl and then nothing. They could easily contend with Oklahoma or Florida.
January 2, 2009
The Fantasy Turd League has officially started as of the day before today which is commonly called, ‘yesterday.’ Let’s review all the teams and their respective turds:
Saluky Turds:
- NFL: Philip Rivers, Chargers
- NBA: Ron Artest, Rockets
- NHL: Jarkko Ruutu, Senators
- MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers (free agent)
- Team: Cincinnati Bengals
- Non: Mark Cuban, owner
- Flex: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
- Flex: D. J. Strawberry, Suns
- Flex: Jared Allen, Vikings
- Flex: Ray Lewis, Ravens
Monkey Turds:
- NFL: Adam “Pacman” Jones, Cowboys
- NBA: Allen Iverson, Pistons
- NHL: Donald Brashear, Capitals
- MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers (free agent)
- Team: Jacksonville Jaguars
- Non: John Daly, PGA
- Flex: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
- Flex: Rasheed Wallace, Pistons
- Flex: Darren McCarty, Red Wings
- Flex: Milton Bradley, Rangers
Bangbros:
- NFL: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
- NBA: Ron Artest, Rockets
- NHL: Josh Bailey, Islanders
- MLB: Matt Chico, Nationals
- Team: Detroit Pistons
- Non: Maradona, Argentina soccer coach
- Flex: Allen Iverson, Pistons
- Flex: Josh Howard, Mavericks
- Flex: Jeremy Shockey, Saints
- Flex: Stephon Marbury, Knicks
Gangsta’s For Life:
- NFL: Chris Henry, Bengals
- NBA: Josh Smith, Hawks
- NHL: Erik Staal, Hurricanes
- MLB: Delmon Young, Twins
- Team: Cincinnati Benglas
- Non: John Daly, PGA
- Flex: Carmelo Anthony, Nuggets
- Flex: J. R. Smith, Nuggets
- Flex: Steven Jackson, Rams
- Flex: Kenyon Martin, Nuggets
Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates:
- NFL: Lendale White, Titans
- NBA: Rafer Alston, Rockets
- NHL: Ryan O’Byrne, Canadians
- MLB: Scott Olsen, Nationals
- Team: Oakland Raiders
- Non: Tony Stewart, NASCAR
- Flex: Nate Robinson, Knicks
- Flex: Stephen Jackson, Warriors
- Flex: Mario Manningham, Giants
- Flex: Cedric Benson, Bengals
Touchdown Turdy Vardell:
- NFL: Bryant McKinnie, Vikings
- NBA: Ricky Davis, Clippers
- NHL: Erik Johnson, Blues
- MLB: Jose Guillen, Royals
- Team: Jacksonville Jaguars
- Non: Mike Tyson, former boxer
- Flex: Ahmad Brooks, 49ers
- Flex: O’Dell Thurman, Bengals
- Flex: Jordan Dizon, Lions
- Flex: Cedric Benson, Bengals
The season will end on 11:59 PM December 31st, 2009. If at any point you want to register a team, please send your turd squad to mperry_77@hotmail.com. You can read the official rules and point system right here. Good luck to all. If at any point one of your turds commits turdery and OTR has not mentioned anything, please notify us via email or obnoxious comment.
December 31, 2008
We couldn’t be more happy to say that we’ve been voted Blog of the Year for 2008! We would love to thank all of our readers and everyone that supported us all year long. We couldn’t have done it without you.
It was a long, arduous voting process, but in the end, Perry and I counted up the votes and OTR won the award by a vote of 2-0. Mittens, the OTR dog, abstained.
Some people might be skeptical because there were only two voters and Perry and I made up both of them. But keep in mind it was a secret ballot, which validates everything.
Again, thank you so much! We wish all of our readers reasonably decent health and for-the-most-part happiness for 2009!
December 31, 2008
As you may know by now, OTR loves to shower itself with awards, accolades and other general pleasantries any chance it gets. So with that…
Happy New Year, OTR!
Thank you, thank you. Believe us it’s appreciated. And Happy New Year to you too!!
Photo Caption: “It’s New Years? I’m skeptical.”
December 31, 2008
Miami Dolphins QB Chad Pennington has won the Associated Press Comeback Player of the Year award for 2008. It’s the second time he’s claimed the award, when he nabbed it with the Jets in 2006.
Pennington revived a 1-15 Dolphins team and took them to the playoffs with an 11-5 record this season.
“I think in my experience over the last nine years is that when you’re winning, you feel appreciated; when you’re losing, it gets a little tough,” he said. “That’s just part of winning and losing, especially in this league because the stakes are high, a lot of eyes watching you, both individually and as a team.
“I don’t think the appreciation level ever changes, you just have to understand that there’s always going to be highs and lows. And it’s always to the extreme because the middle of the road doesn’t sail and it’s not exciting. The extremes, that’s what’s exciting, and that’s what everybody leans on.”
It’s not tough to imagine that no one was happier to see Pennington come to the Dolphins than first-year head coach Tony Sparano.
“He’s vital to this team, he really is,” Sparano said. “With Chad coming in here and doing what he’s done right now and bringing a bunch of people together, these young players, what he’s brought to them from a leadership standpoint.”
In the award’s 11 seasons, Pennington is the only player to win it twice.
December 31, 2008
A league source has told MLive.com that Eagles GM Tom Heckert wants “no part” of the Assistant GM job in Detroit.
When looking at it on paper, it’s easy to wonder why a guy with a GM title would want to move to another team for an Asst. GM title, but we all know that Heckert isn’t a true GM in Philly. Andy has the final say, so Heckert is pretty much an Asst. GM here too. So then, wouldn’t that just be a lateral move to a worse organization and a lesser title?
But even looking at it pragmatically, why on Earth would Heckert want to assist a guy with no General Manager experience in Martin Mayhew? Andy Reid at least has had success. You could make a strong case that Mayhew and President Tom Lewand had their fingerprints all over that debacle in Detroit. I’d be very hesitant to tie my career to that ship.
Heckert grew up in Michigan so his name will always pop up in relation to the Lions. I’m sure we’ll hear his name come up in many of the GM searches that are going on right now, but I’m not surprised to hear that he wants “no part” of the Lions.
December 31, 2008
Jags WR Reggie Williams and LB Mike Peterson removed their nameplates off of their lockers, obviously not expecting to return next season.
“Read the writing on the wall,” said Peterson, who is in the final year of a six-year deal with the Jaguars.
Peterson had a dust up with the coaches this year that led to his benching, while Williams, in his fifth year with the team, just never produced as a WR. 2007’s 10 TD’s don’t count, that was the exception not the norm.
December 31, 2008
In a landslide win of 49 out of 50 votes, New England Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo has won the NFL’s Defensive Rookie of the Year. Mayo led a linebacker group that struggled at times with 137 tackles and proved the Pats were smart for grabbing him at #10 in this past April’s Draft.
“Jerod’s done a lot for us,” coach Bill Belichick said. “We’ve asked a lot of him and from Day 1 he’s really been a well-prepared, very mature player who can do a lot of things: play the running game, play in the passing game, blitz, helps us in the kicking game.
“He’s smart, makes a lot of defensive adjustments and calls for us there. He runs well. He’s tough. He’s a good all-around football player, very mature, very professional. For a rookie, he’s probably as professional as anybody I’ve coached.”
A starter all season, Mayo is the sixth-straight linebacker to win the award.
“Jerod’s taken his leadership up,” linebacker Mike Vrabel said. “I think he came in as a rookie and obviously learned the playbook and learned everything in and out and physically can go out there and make any play that we needed him to.”
December 31, 2008
It looks like our buddy Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI early Wednesday morning in Arizona.
A law enforcement officer (a cop) saw Barkley run a stop sign at 1:30 AM and pulled him over. He refused a breath test but was given a blood test, which hasn’t received results yet.
He was released and took a cab home.
Photo Caption: Thanks to our friends at TMZ for the pic!
Maybe that would have been a good idea the first time? And also, if you’ve had a few cocktails, why are you running stop signs?? That’s when you drive as carefully as you can!
December 30, 2008
Back in the beginning of October, I posted Make Your Own Tarvaris Jackson Photo Caption of the Day (feel free to add some photo caption ideas).
As recently as today, a Nichlas Riddel had this to say, “Hey morons, Jackson has tons of talent just lacks experience (which he is currently getting)….he will prove the doubters wrong…p.s. it’s GENIUS, not genious you dumbshit…I’m a die hard Vikes fan and it’s pissing me off how stupid and clueless the so called Vikings followers are…might be the worst fans in the NFL.”
In honor of Nichlas’ rude comment to OTR, let’s play a new game. Let’s pretend the picture to the left is Nichlas Riddel (formerly known as ‘barry’ and if you never met barry, this is a must read). This is Nichlas’ yearbook picture. Let’s play, ‘what did Nichlas write under his yearbook pitcure.’
PHOTO CAPTION: Nichlas Riddel, chess team, spelling bee runner-up to the sixth place finisher, 2-inch vertical jump champion, best part-in-hair contest winner, cutest smile, and most likely to become diabetic.
December 30, 2008
As I drink my Vodka on the rocks on this Tuesday eve of New Years Eve, I ponder two things. What am I going to wear tomorrow night? I bought a really nice pair of pants at Express, but I couldn’t find a matching shirt. Do I have an existing shirt in my closet that will go with these nice pants? Is that shirt in my hamper? Do I have an iron? All of that counts as one ponder. The next ponder, is the most important ponder. Who is going to win this weekend and why? Let’s discuss.
Arizona Cardinals (+2.5) over Atlanta Falcons
Yes, Arizona has a horrific defense and they lost four out of their last six games. They look terrible and Kurt Warner is fifty-six years old. There’s probably ten teams in the NFC that are better than them. They only beat one other NFC team that was not in their division. Guess who? Yes, the Dallas Cowboys. Remember that blocked punt on October 12th? Of course, we all do. We all love watching Dallas implode. But this isn’t about Dallas. This is about Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons’ defense traveling to Arizona to play the Cardinals. This game is all about who can stop who and as horrific as the Cardinals defense is, Atlanta’s is not that much better. The Cardinals are in the middle of the pack at stopping the run and if they can keep Michael Turner in check, which is something many NFL teams have had a tough time doing, then they will win the game. I see this Arizona Cardinals offense running on all cylinders Saturday afternoon. Look for Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald to hook up many times, and not in a gay way, but in a watch-how-many-touchdowns-we-can-score kinda way. Final score Arizona 31 Atlanta 24 (for the record, they will get destroyed next round, completely destroyed).
Indianapolis Colts (-1) over San Diego Chargers
Revenge game. Peyton Manning is the MVP of the NFL. San Diego is not a good football team. They aren’t. They play in a horrible division and they aren’t ‘coming on strong.’ Look who they played in their last four games. The Oakland Raiders who suck. The Kansas City Chiefs who suck. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers who suck. And the Denver Broncos who suck. Their previous three games before that were against playoff teams (Steelers, Colts, and Falcons) and they lost all three of those games. I love the Colts in this game. I truly believe they are the best team in the NFL right now with the best player (Peyton Manning). I will be completely dumbfounded if the Chargers win this game. Final Score Indianapolis 30 San Diego 20
Baltimore Ravens (-3) over Miami Dolphins
I was up the street last night grabbing dinner when my buddy asked me ‘who plays quarterback for that purple team?’ I said, ‘Tarvaris Jackson?’ He said, ‘no.’ I said ‘Joe Flacco?’ which turned out to be the correct answer. The fat guy with no chin sitting next to my buddy said, ‘he was my neighbor.’ For the sake of not butchering anymore punctuation I will continue this story without any ‘he said, she said’ crap. The fat guy with no chin (let’s just call him Fat No Chin, FNC for short) grew up with him during the summers in Ocean City, New Jersey. FNC told me he threw a wicked long ball on the beach. So right now I picture Joe Flacco tearing up the scene in Miami Beach throwing wicked long balls which will carryover till Sunday in a very nice rookie, playoff victory. Oh, and Ed Reed might have something to say about this game, too. Speaking of Ed Reed, would you rather have him or Troy Polamalu? Food for thought. Final Score Baltimore 21 Miami 17
Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over Minnesota Vikings
There’s around 15,000 seats still available for this game and it’s subject to blackout in the Minneapolis area. How pathetic is that? Do you know what else is pathetic? Tarvaris Jackson. This is me breaking down this game. What the Eagles really need to do is establish the run and…..the Vikings quarterback is Tarvaris Jackson. If the Eagles can stop the run…..the Vikings quarterback is Tarvaris Jackson. The Eagles need to win the battle of field position…..the Vikings quarterback is Tarvaris Jackson. In conclusion, if the Eagles defense can put pressure on Tarvaris Jackson…..the Vikings quarterback is Tarvaris Jackson. You get my point? Final Score Philadelphia 34 Minnesota 17
December 30, 2008
Our pals at TMZ.com have tipped us off on a story of a woman filing a lawsuit against Arizona Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald. He has been ordered to stay from the mother of his son as well as his son.
Angela Nazario says that she took their 11-month old to Fitz’s Phoenix home for a visit when they began to argue. Fitzgerald apparently tried to “diffuse the situation” by raising his fist and challenging her to a play fight. She admits she swung at him and “may have hit his face.”
Fitzgerald then went batshit and allegedly pushed Nazario down to her knees. She claims he “grabbed me by my hair with both hands on the back of my head very very hard and tossed me across the room.”
Later, when she tried to leave with her kid, Nazario says Fitzgerald “grabbed the back of my neck and slammed me down on the marble floor … [I] was disoriented for awhile and could not get up, I remember he mumbled something about ‘that’s what happens when you try taking my son away from me.’”
She said when she went to get in her car she noticed that she had “chunks” of hair missing.
What says you, Larry?
December 30, 2008
According to Mark Friedman of 1310 AM and told to us by DallasSportsFans.com, the Cowboys’ flight home after the Eagles loss was a big party. Aside from the fight between Deon Anderson and Flozell Adams (which could have resulted from a dispute over a Dominoes game and not over frustration from the loss), the Cowboys were yucking it up like they had one. From DallasSportsFans.com:
“According to Friedo, the Cowboys charter was not the sad, sullen, and despondent scene that one might expect. As someone who grew up around college football, and saw many a post-loss locker room, bus, and plane, I can say with certainty that my expectation would have been a pretty quiet and somber plane ride for the Cowboys. Not only did their season end with an absolutely horrific showing, but this was a team with “Super Bowl or Bust” aspirations coming into the year. I don’t care how much money you make, I would assume that if you take pride in your job and performance that it would be hard to recover from the pounding they took in Philadelphia.
Not so, according to Friedo.
He described the scene as “like the last day of school”, with dominoes being played in the back and lots of laughing and carrying on. He said that he was reluctant to say anything, seeing as how the Cowboys are nice enough to allow media members on the charter, and that only leads me to believe that he may have muted the reality of what was actually going on. Friedo did not mention any specific names, nor did he say if alcohol was flowing, but he made it pretty clear that if you did not know who won the Cowboys-Eagles game, you just might assume it was the Cowboys from their conduct on the plane.”
December 30, 2008
SportsbyBrooks.com has a link to a NationalFootballPost.com story that reports the Broncos have fired head coach Mike Shanahan. I couldn’t post the link because the National Football Post’s website has been down since posting the news, presumably due to overwhelming traffic.
You can check out the SportsbyBrooks.com link here.
Stay tuned.
UPDATE: Ok, we tracked down the link.
December 30, 2008
According to the Dallas Morning News, Cowboys FB Deon Anderson got into a fight with LT Flozell Adams on the team’s flight home from Philadelphia. It was broken up by Leonard Davis.
According to the report, Anderson and Adams laughed about the dispute on Monday.
Still, this does nothing to quell the voices that say the Cowboys have a fractured locker room and awful team chemistry.
The report from the DMN also states that Cowboys defensive players were yelling at each other in the huddle during the game for missing assignments. Tank Johnson also shouted profanities at his teammates in the huddle and on the sidelines because he just likes to be a douchebag in general.
December 30, 2008
The first Falcons rookie quarterback to start a season opener since Steve Bartkowski in 1975, Matt Ryan was named Offensive Rookie of the Year today after throwing for 3,440 yards, 16 TD’s and 11 INT’s. Edging out Baltimore’s Joe Flacco, Ryan also led his Falcons (11-5) to an improbable playoff berth despite extremely low expectations.
“It’s pretty exciting,” Ryan said. “It’s a great honor and to tell you the truth, I’m pretty humbled by it.”
Ryan was drafted #3 overall out of Boston College this past April, but wasn’t expected to play so well so early.
“I’m very proud of Matt’s accomplishments, accelerated maturity and very evident leadership skills while at the helm in his first year as a professional quarterback,” Falcons general manager Thomas Dimitroff said.
The Falcons travel to Arizona to face the Cardinals at 4:30 PM EDT on Saturday, January 3rd for Wild Card Weekend.
December 30, 2008
While the 49ers have decided to retain the services of head coach Mike Singletary, they also decided that it was time for offensive coordinator Mike Martz to go. A league source has told Adam Schefter of NFLN that Martz is, as they say in Canada, oot.
OTR spoke with a source who used to work for Martz and he wasn’t surprised he was fired. According to our source, Martz “might be bi-polar” because he is such a nice guy one minute and then an absolute terror the next. Our source said that Martz said things to a couple of guys that were so awful, if those guys didn’t have so much to lose they would have just beat the snot out of him. He went on to tell OTR that he could see a situation where Martz, who liked to abuse his power, tried to cozy up to the front office and position himself to be the next head coach.
Martz, who spent just one year in San Fran and one year in Detroit in 2007, might be running out of chances in the NFL.
December 30, 2008
If you had Andre Rison in our Fantasy Turd League, you wouldn’t get any points because it’s not January 1st yet.
But the fact remains that he did get arrested early this morning at a San Antonio hotel for public intoxication. Apparently, he and a friend caused a scene at the Crown Plaza Riverwalk and the police didn’t find it funny or productive or both.
He paid his $85 misdemeanor fine and was released.
Photo Caption: Andre Rison causes a scene in the Super Bowl.
December 30, 2008
Ever read this? This is an article from the Onion from several years ago that I just love. Here is the link, but I also copied and pasted.
Who Do You Think You Are—Former New Orleans Saints Linebacker Pat Swilling?
Okay, Gerald, I’ve heard about as much out of you as I can take. All I get from you lately is eye-rolling and swaggering, like you’re too good for the mere mortals of Mercury Insurance.You act like you’re doing us a favor just showing up. Who do you think you are—former New Orleans Saints linebacker Pat Swilling?
Judging by your attitude alone, I’d say you were a 6′