January 6, 2009
Tom 3:16 loves nothing more than good, clean competition in the squared circle. Still, its hard to miss some of the missfires in the world of professional wrestling. Below, I have compiled five of my all time favorites with the help of videos from Wrestlinggonewrong.com.
#5 - Jake “The Snake” Roberts’ cobra snaps into the Macho Man
After losing a retirement match to Jake Roberts at Wrestlemania 7 back in 1991, Jake tied up Randy Savage in the ropes. What was a supposed to be a quick strike by the cobra turned into an vicious attack, as the snake continued to chomp on the Macho Man’s bicept for several seconds.
#4 - There will be no funeral for the N-word on Booker T’s watch
Before he was “The King” Booker T was cutting promos with Mean Gene in WCW. Prior to a four corners match during WCW’s Spring Stampede pay-per-view which would determine Hulk Hogan’s next opponent, Booker T drops some real talk on the Hulkster.
#3 - TNA announcers caught reading from the script
Just because the TNA promotion hasn’t been around for very long doesn’t mean they haven’t had time to completely embarass themselves. When a match between Sting and Abyss went outside the arena, directors at the control board had no camera to switch to besides the one focused on their two announcers Don West and Mike Tenay, calling the match… without even seeing it.
#2 - When breakable glass isn’t so breakable
When Kurt Angle faced off against Shane-O-Mac in a street fight on a King of the Ring pay per view, one of the most exciting scripted spots of the night was suppose to be Shane getting tossed through a pair of glass sheets. Known for being a part of several hardcore wrestling stunts, this shouldn’t have been such a big deal for the littlest McMahon. But, the glass refused to break… twice.
#1 - Are you using that chair?
Old school ECW is known for not only it’s wrestlers’ hardcore style, but also for its fan’s drunken douchebaggery. At ECW’s 1994 Hardcore Heaven, the legendary Cactus Jack and Terry Funk wrestled to a no-contest decision. At this point, the tag team Public Enemy stormed the ring and attacked. The resourceful Terry Funk turned to the fans and called for a chair… and he got one, followed by hundreds more.
And on the seventh day, Tom 3:16 rested.
January 5, 2009
This is a little over a week old, but it needed posted due to this pubescent teen calling Jessica Simpson a whore. He did this with all the confidence of DJ Qualls in Road Trip and parodying a Fray song with an out of tune guitar. That’s three strikes against him and he still managed to prevail in being somewhat entertaining just like his probabal idol, Vince Papali. So, I give you props son because the sports world needs more of one thing and that is song parodies.
December 23, 2008
Alright, so I’m figuring that pretty much everyone in the world has seen the new Nike commercial featuring Lebron and a host of others doing his well-known chalk toss in the air. In the ad there is also a song in the background that repeats the lyric, “the Candyman is back.” Aside from the Lil Wayne cameo, I took a certain implication away from this commercial and that implication is where I came up with the Chappelle Show reference. I’m just trying to figure out what Nike was thinking in playing a song with the word “candyman” set to a man throwing white powder into the air like a scene from Scarface. They might as well have played some Andre Nickatina Ayo For Yayo. That’s what came to my mind and I haven’t even watched Blow in like 7 hours. Here’s the commercial followed by the possible Nike implication.
December 14, 2008
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Lacey Underall in Caddyshack on ESPN2, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Fanhouse - Tiger Woods’ Caddie Tells Stories Of Phil Mickelson’s Man Boobs
Cuzgoogle - Now Playing: Forgetting Sam Mitchell
PSAMP - Rick Tocchet Is, And Never Was, Smart
Moondog - Why I Hate Marko Jaric
Tailgating Ideas - Layla Kiffin Looks Like A Porn Star
Hugging Harold Reynolds - Q-Tip to Leitch: Yo, What The Scenario
Awful Announcing - Wilbon: “Threesomes Keep It Interesting”
FanDome - Barry Sanders Has A Son…
Busted Coverage - Cuff ‘Em: Top 20 Sports Related Arrests of 2008
December 12, 2008
I saw this over on BallHype c/o Mike Hayes from Steady Burn. I guess a tech critic gave the new WWE social network site a bad review so the Miz (from Real World) and John Morrison decided to take the matter into their own hands. They continue to make fun of the critic Eric Schonfeld the best way they new how, call him Schlongfeld. This is one more reason I love the WWE.
December 12, 2008
The title of this post may sound like a children’s book, but recently, I saw the little message that Stephen Curry writes on his shoes. I looked further into the situation and saw that this is a somewhat common occurrence. Here are some other sneaks that I came across and I put the photos below.
Stephen Curry
Tom Brady
Plaxico Burress
Vinsanthe Shiancoe
John Amaechi
Sean Avery
Erin Andrews
December 10, 2008
I was notified of this revelation through a Facebook wall post and I appreciate it. Here is an excerpt from the Wikipedia page for former Pirates GM, Dave Littlefield. I read through the entire page before coming across a moment of sheer brilliance. Check out the last line of the entry and you can see it states, “Currently, Littlefield has been seen living under the Roberto Clemente Bridge, occasionally rising to the surface to play the saxophone and beg for spare change.” I know that this happens all the time on wikipedia and this will probably be changed, but the fact that someone took the time to belittle a former Pirates GM should not go overlooked. Not to mention his jab that was able to incorporate a little local flavor.
December 3, 2008
I heard about this movie a while ago, but the trailer is finally out and it is living up to expectations and creating a ton of hype. It comes out 12/17 and stars Mickey Rourke as a retired wrestler making a comeback. Also, it’s directed by the same guy who did Requiem for a Dream, so you know the probable steroid scenes are going to be sick. The main thing I’m looking forward to though, is Marisa Tomei playing a stripper, but you also can’t overlook the Bruce Springsteen song written for the movie (plays during the trailer). I think this is the next great sports movie and hopefully creates some wrestling fans, because their is too much craziness in that industry that goes un-ridiculed.
December 3, 2008
Sean Avery goes from working for Vogue in the off-season to ripping on two former exes (Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter) who are both unreal. Personality is what hockey is lacking and they are in desperate need of more guys who don’t live their lives like Nick Swardson in Grandma’s Boy. The comment is classic and I can’t wait til he gets a tv gig somewhere.
Oh, and here are some pictures of those exes.
Girl from Old School - Elisha Cuthbert
Stacy’s Mom from that music video - Rachel Hunter
December 1, 2008
November 30, 2008
This news is old, I know. However, the comparison had to be made to Cheddar Bob from the film classic 8 Mile. Thanks for helping my fantasy team Plax.
November 24, 2008
I found this video on Pittsburgh Sports and Miniature Ponies, which I feel is the best named blog on the internet, and realized that I need to add a political aspect to this blog. I mean if NFL owners are endorsing candidates then why shouldn’t 6 year old girls that pick their nose be heard. Overall, I found her assessment to be dead on. Also, to analyze this discussion further; she doesn’t seem to know her name and she sounds exactly like either Huey, Dewey or Louie from Ducktales.
November 24, 2008
The other day I sat down and watched Not Another Teen Movie because it was on TV and I needed a reason to drink. While watching that piece of shit, I saw Billy Bob parodying his role from Varsity Blues and wondered what happened to him. Really, I just wanted to see if he was still a fat fuck with an accent. I then found out that his real name is Ron Lester and he’s lost like 35 pounds and been on both Montel and Tyra, so he’s approaching the A-list. Then, I noticed that he has is own website with audition tapes, movie reels and even those day-time talk appearances. After finding this stuff, I was forced to go search for him on youtube and found some video journals that are classic. Billy Bob’s just got to take some lessons from Puff and learn how make those real. Let’s compare.
vs.
Time to get after it, Billy Bob.
November 23, 2008
As you revel in a day of laying on the couch and probably some jacking off to Rihanna performing on the American Music Awards, here is this week’s wrap-up.
Mr. Irrelevant - Wait, The Redskins Had An Actual Mascot
Empty the Bench - The NBA’s Most Depressing Players of 2008-09
The Sports Culture - The Many Gang Sings of OJ Mayo
Big League Stew - Dave Parker And The Greatest Shirt In The History Of Shirts
Gunaxin - The All-Whitey Basketball Team
Alana G - The REAL Shaq Is Really Twittering
The World of Isaac - Stacy Keibler Vs. Blair O’Neal
FanIQ - Denver Nuggets Cheerleader Makes Announcers Go Speechless
Blaze of Love - The NBA Ugly List
Yardbarker - Sheed’s Nicknames For His Teammates
Pittsburgh Sports And Miniature Ponies - Sydney Crosby Is Good At Soccer, Too
November 20, 2008
Pacman Jones was re-instated by Roger Goodell and I found that there could only be one reason that this could have occurred. First off, Goodell should not of suspended him for this last mishap due to his team-issued body guard starting the fracas. Secondly, if he did need to suspend him, then he should not be re-instated so easily, I just think he pulling a little flip flop after all of that election talk over recent weeks.
Let me set the scene for you, Mr. Commissioner sits down on his couch and picks up the most recent issue of People magazine, which depicts Hugh Jackman as their latest “Sexiest Man Alive.” Goodell began to ponder who he thought was the sexiest man alive and since George Clooney took the spot a couple of years ago, he decided to go with Pacman and for this reason, let him back into the league. In lieu of this occasion I, the Second Coming, have created a cover issue for the coffeetable in the league office and more importantly, for Roger Goodell bathroom.
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